As I start writing this I really can't think of a title for this post. So much happened in the past month and eleven days that there is not one phrase that fits. What has happened you might ask? Oh, the one-eyed storyteller will fill you in!




The middle of October Jake and I got to go home for multiple reasons. One of my best friends, (now Mrs. Casey Henry) was getting married the 17th, and since I was still out of work for my eye, Jake decided to take the week before off and we went back for the whole week. A MUCH needed vacation, let me tell you. Besides the fact that it had been six months since I saw everyone in my family except for my mother (I thought my dad was going to start crying, which would have been a first) it had been six months since I felt completely comfortable going anywhere by myself, going out, AND Jake and I got to spend some time apart. Why would I want that? With being dependant on him since August to go anywhere or do anything it was nice to spend some time with friends without him. Or actually going out without him. Not that we don't love each other, but we both know that we do need some space. He gets that sometimes after he gets off work here in Mass., but I have not had that ability in a long time. Plus, all I have here are acquaintances, and back in Illinois I have FRIENDS. Would do anything for you no questions asked friends. I have included some pictures of these wonderful people - just 'cause they need a formal shoutout.

Needless to say it was a fun vacation, but extremely tiring. In a good way. We drove there and back, mostly straight through the way there and straight through the way home and I would not advise to do that unless you wanted to spend time doing it, or just like being stuck in a car for 18 or so hours. It actually felt good coming home to Sly (our cat) and sleeping in our bed instead of on my parent's pull out couch.

I was energized when I came home. I was doing laundry every day, even Jake's, which is a feat because I hate doing laundry and I've always said I'd never do his laundry ... but I had all this energy and I didn't know what to do with it. I mean, I cleaned our hardwood floors every other day! What was happening to me? I was looking forward to going back to work from the surguries and I was the happiest I had been out here in a long time. Then the hammer fell.


My retina detached again. I was/am so frustrated with this eye that I couldn't even cry anymore. Dr. Loporchio gave me three options: 1. Do a victrectomy and put in a gas bubble, which I had done twice previously, 2. Do a victrectomy, remove the lens and put in silicone oil, which would stay in the eye for a year+ and really (hopefully) seal the retina down or 3. Go blind. Jake and I talked it over and went with option 2, and surgery was November 4th. So far the healing is going as well as expected, but to be honest I am scared. I will not be able to see out of this eye for over a year, I have to relearn to drive and the new depth perception I have, and even when the oil is taken out I will most likely lose perhipheral vision. I try not to think about those things because it is so daunting, and I am having trouble with my left "the good" eye because there is a white spot on the cornea. I know that God only gives you what you can handle and yes, Jake and I have grown together as a couple and gotten so close that part of me is thankful for this experience but I am SICK of surgery and SICK of not being able to see and SICK of being dependant on everyone.


But, I have a support group back in Illinois, and a few people here in Massachusetts, that I can lean on. And that's what friends are for.